The Cabride From Hell
by Shermie
Summary: Wufei gets a part time job as a taxi driver... Chaos ensues


This is my first post on this account. My account under Faye, My Funny Valentine just kinda stopped working. Fear not, though, for it is still me! Anyway, this fic was brought on by an all night marathon between me and two of my girlfriends involving Cheez-Its, Mountain Dew, and Crazy Taxi. I do not own GundamW, or Crazy Taxi for that matter =^_^=;; Warnings & Notes: Err... AU? Extremely Foul language, scary driving, and shounen-ai.  
  
  
"The Cab Ride From Hell"  
by Shermie  
  
  
Wufei circled the busy square in his 65 Mustang convertible-turned Taxi cab. His eyes scanned the crowds from behind a dark pair of sunglasses. It was hot, TOO hot outside today. Even dropping the top didn't help. With a sigh as he circled the square yet again, he unbuttoned his blue and light gray Hawaiian-print shirt, exposing his sweat covered chest to the sun. "If I'm gonna drive around in this bullshit, I might as well get a tan doing it." The Chinese youth rationalized. Then he spotted his first customer of the day.  
  
Duo Maxwell popped his gum in boredom and checked his watch. He had a good half hour to kill before Howard needed him back at the docks. Squinting his wide violet eyes, he spotted a cool-looking taxi. "Damn, that driver's hot..." He said outloud to himself, eyeing the unknowingly gawked at Wufei. With a grin, Duo waved his arms about frantically. "Hey! I need a ride, man!"  
  
  
Wufei looked up from where he had just spilled his Iced Coffee all over his shorts. "Shit.. hope no one notices..." He glanced Duo's way. 'Hot damn.." "Need a ride?" He called to the braided boy.  
  
Duo ran over. "Sure do, sexy."  
  
Wufei smirked. "Hop in."  
  
With that, Duo jumped over door and into the backseat. "Show me a good time and I'll tip ya real nice." Duo flirted, getting in a relaxed pose and folding his arms behind his head.  
  
"A good time, eh?" Wufei asked. "Gotcha." He didn't even bother turning his meter on.  
  
Wufei popped in his Offspring CD and peeled right out of the parking area... going in reverse.  
  
Duo clung to his seat in horror. "What the fuck are you doing!?"  
  
Wufei grinned as he leaned over the seat, looking behind himself for oncoming traffic. "Showing you a good time, of course." The large car swerved and Duo shrieked, grabbing onto the back of Wufei's seat.   
  
"I almost fell out of the fucking car, asshole!" The American shouted.  
  
Wufei replied calmly: "Oh yeah. I forgot... Buckle your seat belt."  
  
Wide-eyed and scared shitless, Duo fought to buckle his seat belt. Frustrated, he just tied it around himself as the Mustang continued to go in reverse down the rather steep hill. Having had enough of this manuver, Wufei popped it out of Reverse and right into Drive, causing the car to skid a bit back up the hill. He was now going in the opposite flow of traffic.   
  
Duo was in the backseat, clutching his cross and doing "Hail Mary"s.  
  
"No need to do that!" Wufei shouted over the loud music. "You're not gonna die... not unless I do...THIS!" The car swerved again, making the tight turn and went up on two wheels.   
  
"Holy sweet fucking shit! I'll never say another goddamn swear as long as i fucking live!" Duo screamed as his braid scraped against the pavement.  
  
Wufei jerked the wheel back and the car went back on all four wheels. "Sooorryyy!" He sang with a wide, homicidal grin.  
  
Duo had seen that grin before on a weirdo ex-boyfriend of his. It wasn't a happy grin. Nor was it a sane one. "LEMME OUT! I DON'T WANNA HAVE A GOOD TIME ANYMORE!" Duo whined, tugging on his knotted seatbelt.  
  
Wufei weaved in and out of traffic. Switching lanes, jumping the barrier, going to the wrong side of the road, then back again. "No one's stopping you from jumping out!"  
  
"This shitty seatbelt is!" Duo shouted.  
  
"I thought you weren't going to swear anymore." Wufei teased.  
  
"...Shut up and get me out of this damn car!"  
  
"Not 'till you're having a good time. That IS why you got in my cab, ne?"  
  
"I don't even know where the Hell we're going!" Duo screamed.  
  
"YO TAXI!" Someone called.  
  
"Ooh another customer..." Wufei remarked as he pulled the car over to where a short blonde haired boy and a much taller brown haired boy were. "Where to?"  
  
The blonde hopped right into the cab. "To the hotel! AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!"  
  
The brown-haired boy that he was with blushed faintly and got in beside him. Wufei didn't figure him for much of a talker. "Hotel it is." Wufei said, turning the meter on 'Rich Sucker' Mode.  
  
He manuvered his cab easily through the traffic laden streets and gracefully swerved the powerful automobile onto the front lawn of the Hotel.  
  
Quatre was checking his pulse and quietly asking Allah just what the Hell he did to deserve this.  
  
Wufei took off his sunglasses and held his hand out. "That'll be $36.00. Cash only."  
  
Trowa glared at Wufei, then at the meter. He hit the heter with his fist rather hard, leaving a dent in it. The numbers scrambled a bit before going from '$36.00' to '$3.60'. Satisfied, Trowa let a small smile escape his lips as he tossed Wufei a $5. "Keep the change." He said quietly before ushering a very fidgety Quatre into the Hotel.   
  
Wufei groaned. "5 lousy bucks..."  
  
"Umm... Can I get out now?" Duo asked shakily.  
  
Wufei blinked, then adjusted his rear view mirror so he could see Duo clearly. "You wanna get out? What, isn't this fun for you?"  
  
"NO!" Duo shouted. "It's not fun, it's scaring the piss outta me!"  
  
Wufei pressed a thoughtful finger to his lips. "Well that wasn't my original intention..."  
  
Duo struggled against the seatbelt that he himself had trapped himself in. "Umm... a little help here?"  
  
Wufei snorted. "You're on your own there, pal." And with a grin, he took off with a traumatized Duo screaming in the backseat.  
  
~owari~  
  
  
And now, a word to all you Wufei-bashers... PISS OFF!  
  
Put all your love letters and death threats in the nifty little review box below, kays?  
  
~Shermie 


End file.
